dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
