Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
