so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
