The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
