If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
