well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
