We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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