he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
