Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
