Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
