Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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