How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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