If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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