i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
