hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
