Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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