Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
