my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
