I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I will be naked everywhere
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
