I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
