I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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