Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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