I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
