I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
