Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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