so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
