And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
