And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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