So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
