Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
