U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
