think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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