if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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