i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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