They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
