In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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