I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
