Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
