I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
