Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
