i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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