Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize