In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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