R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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