I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Buhtt sex?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
