the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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