whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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