Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
