Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
