I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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